


Duty; Growth; Sacrifice

by EmberGlows



Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Gen, among other things. like i say in the summary..... angst angst angst, but in all seriousness mako rocks and needs to be loved, content warning: parents' deaths and time spent in triad, just so everyones aware and if youre freaking out i dont headcanon it as permanent, my poor son :(, so you have that at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 00:57:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4686164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmberGlows/pseuds/EmberGlows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place during the events of the Book 4 finale, as well as what I believe would happen shortly afterwards. Mako’s decisions and past are explored. Angst, angst, angst.</p>
<p>(Written for Mako Appreciation Weekend 2014.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Duty; Growth; Sacrifice

“I love you,” Bolin said, and they embraced.

“I love you, too,” Mako answered, holding him fiercely for a brief moment. “Now go!”

Generating lightning had always been difficult for Mako. It worked best when you cleared your mind of all emotion and forgot about your surroundings; something he always struggled with. It took him a good moment to be able to shut down, and this was only after he saw Bolin run to safety in the corner of his eye. He took the stance determinedly, preparing to shoot the bolt from his left hand. Looking back, years later, he’d wonder if this was a conscious choice, the picking of his non-dominant hand. Maybe he knew, deep down, that this would be the most lightning he’d ever make. Maybe he knew there’d be consequences.

He took a breath, and prepped the bolt, taking much longer than he ever had before; the lightning zapped around him, growing harder and harder to contain. His fingers started to sting sharply, and he grimaced, then released it into the vines with one hand, his other electrifying the metal walls. Almost immediately, the explosions started.  _Not enough, not enough_ , he thought, and sustained his bolts. A few seconds later, the vine conductors overhead exploded, and he was thrown back against the wall.  _No, no, not enough._

On his knees it was getting harder to see through all the blackness that had appeared in his vision, but he fought to keep one stream on the vines, another stream on the metal wall. Lightning was whizzing through him now, crackling and cackling, gleeful of his rapidly decreasing lack of control. He felt his hair stand on end and sizzle with electricity, the metal grate below him digging harshly into his knees. The sharp stinging that had begun with his fingers had moved up his arms now, and he watched with a detached sort of awe through his pain as the vines’ energy began to duplicate and coalesce into a purple circular swirl at the top of the engine room.  _I’m doing that_ , he thought, staggering to his feet.  _A human is doing that_. It was exhilarating. It was terrifying. It was uncontrollable. It was unnatural.

The vines glowed brightly deep within themselves, and the stinging jumped suddenly to his chest; his entire upper body now thrumming painfully. The energy the vines were producing in bolts sparked off exponentially, and his lightning followed suit. He knew something was very wrong when the pain in his left forearm abruptly disappeared, and he was thrown back by his own bolt. He barely registered his left sleeve disintegrating as he cried out in shock; all he knew was that he couldn’t feel his arm, and that his arm was suddenly burnt red.  _Get out of here. You promised_. The thought came suddenly, and he started to stumble towards the exit. Both the lightning and the vines’ energy seemed to snap angrily at his decision, beginning to jump around even more erratically. A huge bolt of energy off the vines shot out in an instant, and struck his midsection.

Whereas his arm didn’t feel anything, this bolt made him feel the worst pain he had ever felt before in his life. It sparked and jumped through his entire body, jerking fitfully and with excruciating agony. He screamed in anguish, and fell heavily to the ground. The aftershocks zipped through him, and the last thing he registered before the blackness took him was the vines’ spirit energy expanding in waves throughout the engine room.

_I’m sorry._

—

“Look!” Bolin’s voice of amazement is what made him open his eyes as they exited the mecha suit. Somewhere between the engine room and the newly-created hole in the mecha, Mako had regained consciousness in Bolin’s arms and realized that he was, in fact, alive after all.  _A spirit portal? Had he helped make that?_

He saw the rest of his friends join him in the newly-created crater, littered with hunks of metal from the mechs, and overgrown with vines. He shakingly stood on his own, wincing at the pain. “We have to find Korra!” Tenzin called, as he and his children airbended over. Asami, Zhu Li, Varrick, Su and Lin ran to them. “Let’s look out here for Korra first. Save the portal for last.” Tenzin said to the group. All of them agreed and spread out, glancing warily at the mecha tanks doing the same for Kuvira.

Jinora fell into step with Mako, who was limping towards the head of the mecha. “I’m glad you’re okay,” he told her, and she smiled. “All of you.”

“Me too,” she agreed. It was then that she noticed his limp, and his arm. “Mako! Spirits, are  _you_  okay?”

He averted his gaze. “Yeah.” It was hard to move and talk through the pain. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“You hesitated.” Jinora stopped and looked at him with concern. “You’re not fine, are you.” It wasn’t a question, really; she just knew.

“Jinora. Please, not now. We need to find Korra.”

The young airbender looked at him for a moment. “All right,” she said uncertainly, face unreadable. “We’ll fix you up later.”

Mako nodded his thanks, and they entered the mecha head. “Korra!” His shout rang out through the crater, echoing on the metal. With a pained noise, he leaned on the structure to support himself. Jinora jumped up to the control platform, and shook her head down to him, eyes wide. He felt his face crumple. “Tenzin.” He turned to the airbender behind him. “There’s no sign of her.”

“Keep looking,” Tenzin said plaintively, supporting his own injured arm. “Korra!  _Korra_!”

They searched the crater, but no sign of Korra. A quick glance at the mecha team revealed that they hadn’t found Kuvira, either. Tenzin called them back together some time later, and they formed a loose grouping near the portal. “All right,” Tenzin said with a sigh. “Korra has to be in the Spirit World. We need to-”

“Dad!” Ikki interrupted breathlessly. “Look!”

All around them, spirits appeared, calmly blinking into existence as if they had never left. They floated and flew out from the portal, and materialized on the edges of the crater; all different shapes and sizes, all waiting. Mako and everyone else stared up in wonder, as Tenzin announced, “The spirits have returned.”

“And so has Korra!” Asami’s excited cry brought everyone to look at the portal. She was safe. She was perfect. Mako sighed in relief, but tore his gaze away for some reason to glance at Asami instead. She looked joyous and beyond thankful, even wiping a tear off her face; staring up at Korra as if she was a goddess returning victorious from battle.  _Oh_ , Mako thought sadly, understanding it all now.  _And I’m sure I look the same._

Mako didn’t remember much after that, it was all a blur. All that mattered was that Korra was safe. His vision started to slowly black out again as the adrenaline wore off; he barely saw Kuvira surrender and get taken away by the Beifongs, while the mechas stood down. And then they were all hugging, and Bolin was shouting happily that they’d won, and Korra looked at Asami the way she used to look at him, and then everyone seemed a lot taller or maybe he had just fallen down, and then Korra finally looked at him but with worry etched on her face instead of the happiness he wished he could have back, and then the darkness took him.

—

“He’s waking up!”

_Was that Korra? Talking about him? She sounded panicked._

_It’s okay,_  he tried to tell her.  _I’m fine._ His mouth didn’t seem to work, though. All he heard was pained moaning come out of it.

“Make him unconscious again,” another, unfamiliar voice ordered urgently.

“But-”

“Now!”

“I’m sorry.” It was a hurried whisper in his ear, followed by a sharp blow to his head.

—

Mako had first heard about bending lightning from his mother, on the day he made his first flame at age three. She and his father were overjoyed, and she had sat him on her knee and told him stories. Stories of how firebending came to be, how it should be used, how it was abused in the past. Stories of dragons, Fire Nation princes in love with Water Tribe princesses, how one woman had discovered lightning after years of meditation. It was lightning that always fascinated him. So beautiful, yet so deadly. “If you have the gift, you’ll learn that when you’re  _much_  older, Mako,” his mother told him with a kiss on his forehead. “We’ll get you lessons with a Master. Lightning is dangerous, after all.”

And then they were out walking one day in Republic City Park years later, coming home from his favourite restaurant after his eighth birthday dinner. They decided to take a shortcut through an alley; Bolin’s occasional babysitter was probably tired, it was after dark. Mako heard the lightning before he saw it that night. The air crackled from behind some trash cans, and his mother stopped mid-sentence. Her eyes widened, and she gripped her husband’s hand tight, pulling the pair in front of him. He saw a stark flash of light in the blackness, and lightning forked right into them. As they fell, a man stood there instead. “Scram, kid,” he snarled, and bent to loot them. Mako ran.

_Lightning is dangerous, after all._

_—_

“Oh, oh!” Mako’s eyes blinked open at the excited voice, and tried to adjust to the harsh light. “You’re awake!”

He turned his head a tiny bit, wincing at the loud noise, and the pain. “Bolin?” His voice was a croak. His little brother was beside him, and nodded rapidly.

“Yeah, bro, it’s me!” He looked over his shoulder. “Can you get him some water, please? And the doctor!” There was a sound of agreement, and hurried footsteps.

“Where am I?” Mako’s surroundings were staring to come back into focus. It looked white, stark, sterile, and industrial.

Bolin hurriedly looked back at him. “Hospital. About half a day outside Republic City. We’re in the town we sent all the refugees too.” He brushed Mako’s hair back off his forehead instinctively.

“Mom used to do that,” Mako whispered.

Bolin frowned thoughtfully, glancing at his actions and remembering. “Yeah. She did, didn’t she?”

“I saw her.” Mako smiled softly, and Bolin’s frown deepened, this time in concern.

“What? What are you talking about?” Mako continued to smile, and shut his eyes. “No, no, no! Mako! Mako, stay awake. The doctor said you need to wake up!  _Mako_!”

_Mako_.

—

“Mako!” Shady Shin kicked him awake. “Wake up, you snotty elephant-rat!”

He bolted up from his spot on the cement floor. “I’m up, I’m up!” He rubbed his eyes and blinked blearily in the dim light of the dingy warehouse. Bolin stirred in his sleep beside him, but didn’t wake. “What is it?”

“Zolt wants to see you,” Shin drawled, jerking a thumb over his shoulder.

“Huh?” Mako started to stand. Shin rolled his eyes and tugged him across the room by his shirt when he didn’t move fast enough. “Why does he want to see _me_?”

“Hell if I know!” Shin barked, and shoved him through the door into Zolt’s office. Laughing, he slammed the door. Two triad members looked impassively at him from their post at the door, arms crossed.

“Kid, you can turn around.” Mako obeyed the command, and turned to see Zolt sitting at his desk at the far end of the office. The older firebender smiled, and motioned for him to come closer. He didn’t speak until Mako was right in front of his huge desk. “Do you know why they call me Lightning Bolt Zolt, kid?” Mako nodded apprehensively. “Why?” Zolt pressed, wanting a spoken answer.

He cleared his throat. “Because you can bend lightning.”

“That’s right.” Zolt smiled. Mako thought it seemed sinister, not sincere. “And do you wish you could?”

Mako frowned. “That I could what?”

“Bend lightning, kid.”

“Well, yeah.” Mako shrugged. “I guess every firebender wishes they could do that.”

“That’s true,” Zolt agreed, and heaved himself to his feet. “But you know what, kid?” He asked conversationally, leisurely walking around the desk.

“What?” Mako asked uneasily.

“You’re one of the few that I think actually can bend it.” Zolt reached him and stood there, arms crossed. He looked Mako up and down appraisingly and nodded. “Yeah. I think you can. And I’m gonna teach you how.” He gave a flamboyant, mocking little bow.

Mako stared in disbelief and scoffed. “You’re being serious?”

“Zolt doesn’t joke around about lightning, kid.” The triad leader smiled wider, showing his teeth. Mako felt even more uneasy than before. “We’ll start when I get back in a few days from the north end of town. Be ready, kid.”

“No!” Mako blurted out in panic. Zolt’s smiled vanished, and Mako realized that was even worse. “Wh-What I mean is…” He tried to backpedal and cover up his outburst.  _Stupid, stupid! Never show emotion, always think things through._

“What’d you say, kid?” Zolt’s voice was low and deadly soft. Mako gulped, and remembered that he was made triad leader for a very good reason.

“I meant that you’d, uh, probably have better things to do with your time! Sir,” he added, and hurriedly continued. “Why waste it on some fourteen-year-old bookie? Besides, I’ve never made lightning before, not even a little bit of-”

“Stop your blabbing, kid,” Zolt said, calmly snapping his fingers. Mako heard the members stationed at the door exit the office. “Me teaching you wasn’t a request. It was an order.”

The sounds of a scuffle came into the room. “Hey! What gives?!” Bolin’s affronted voice rose, and Mako turned to him. His little brother was being held by the two guards. Mako felt fear, cold and clammy, take hold in his chest.

“Your choice, kid,” Zolt spoke loudly in a nonchalant tone. “Either you learn how to lightning bend from me, or I’ll throw you two right back out on the streets!” He leaned into Mako then, and spoke so only he could hear. “Except this time, pickpocketing might be harder to come by if your brother has no hands.”

Mako gritted his teeth, while Bolin struggled to get loose. “Fine.” He agreed shortly. “You win. Now let him go.”

Zolt snapped his fingers again, and Mako watched in relief as the guards set Bolin free. “Let’s shake on it, kid,” Zolt said casually, as if they were just conversing in a tea shop.

He did, and gripped tightly, trying to hurt Zolt in any way he could.

—

“Tell me again, please.” Mako sat in a hard-backed, hospital-issued wheelchair, staring at the tiled floor. One tile was cracked. He should probably tell a janitor or something.

Katara sighed softly. “Mako. I’m very sorry.” He looked up at her face, but upon recognizing her gaze of overwhelming pity, he returned to studying the cracked tile. “But your arm and abdomen will be scarred for life. We’re going to need to put bandages on the burns, and have weekly healing sessions to-”

“You’re not telling me something,” Mako interrupted dispassionately. “What aren’t you telling me?”

“Katara, you promised you wouldn’t tell him this.” Korra pleaded from her place standing behind him.

“I said I wouldn’t tell him until he was ready,” Katara corrected calmly. “He’s as ready as-”

“No! No, he’s  _not_!” Korra gave into her emotions, shouting loudly in protest. Mako tore his gaze from the floor just in time to see her angrily slam her fist on a table. She jabbed a finger at him, but continued to shout at Katara. “He is battered and exhausted and did _nothing_ to deserve this. He fought bravely and sacrificed everything. For  _me_! And I say he needs time before you tell him!”

Katara’s gaze was steel. “Korra, you need to remain calm.”

“Why should I? It was me who ordered him to shut it down! It’s my fault that-”

Mako stood, his chair’s locked wheels squealing loudly on the tiled floor. The two waterbenders stopped arguing and stared at him in shock. “Tell me.”

Korra stepped forward and gently tried to push him back down. “Mako-”

“I can handle it,” he whispered hoarsely, shrugging her off.

Katara appeared indecisive for a moment, but soon sighed and nodded. “The burns aren’t the only things that are permanent. Your left arm will have little to no mobility for the remainder of your life.” Mako stood up straighter, and glanced down evenly at his arm, encased in a sling. “It’s unclear at this stage if you’ll be able to firebend from that hand again,” Katara continued tiredly. “It’s doubtful you’ll be able to, but it all depends on how well you respond to healing sessions and physiotherapy. However,” and here she trailed off. “It is obvious that you’ll never be able to generate or redirect lightning again.” Mako felt his legs start to give out under him, and he staggered into his wheelchair. “I’m sorry.” Katara seemed sincere. Korra just seemed miserable. Mako wasn’t sure what he must seem like.

There was silence for a full minute.  _I was forced to learn it anyway. I should be happy I won’t be like Zolt anymore. I should be happy that I’m nothing like that murderer now._  Mako found the cracked tile and stared at it again, fighting to control how blurry it suddenly appeared. “Thank you,” Mako finally whispered without emotion. “Korra, can you please bring me back to my room.”

Korra’s breath caught. “Of course, Mako.” Her voice wavered.

“Thank you,” he repeated.

_Lightning is dangerous, after all._


End file.
